How to Stop Being So Shy
For a long time I was super shy like all of the time. In middle school and most of high school I hung out with my same friend(s) in the same spots day after day. I was in my own little bubble constantly. Wondering how it would be like to be popular, or at least not so bound by my shyness that was almost emotionally crippling. My shyness was pretty bad, I would dread ordering from a restaurant on my own until I was nearly 17 because for some reason I'd be terrified to talk to the waiter. That pen and paper, the promotional button pins on the neat apron, The bright row of teeth in a large grin accompanied by two big eyes staring into my soul waiting for me to order, terrifying every single time. I would order the same thing as the person beside me to cut the awkward interaction short or get someone to order for me (eventually my sister caught on and suspended me from doing either). What was it that made me want to hide from strangers forever? it was fear, fear of the unknown. As my mind danced in circles around itself I thought:
" Does this person like me?"
"Do they think I'm weird?"
"Are you judging me?"
"Do you look down on me?"
An endless tycoon of questions. Yea, it was THAT serious, however, I wouldn't slap a health disorder or label on it like others. I was just a person who could not take control over her shyness until now.
The breaking point of my shyness was when my Dad started picking up more overseas and out of state contract jobs for his avionics engineering career. I was moving left and right like musical chairs, it was so annoying, but honestly it helped me out a lot as first steps to breaking away the monster that almost ran my life called shyness.
4 years of high school equaled 4 different high schools I was enrolled in. Some people would call it 'not that bad' but for a girl who went to school within the same area for 9 years prior, it was a big deal and quite a shock. But by my junior year of high school, I had seen so many new faces that I wasn't even as phased by being shy as I had been before. I would start conversations with neighbors, ask for directions, order food and even flawlessly break the ice from time to time. I was finally free, and it was pretty awesome.
Breaking shyness doesn't happen overnight. Regardless of what the stupid shyness tips and the pointless magazine articles say, it takes time to acquire the correct social skills with a shy personality.
I decided to write a few pointers down to help severe shyness, NONE include getting drunk, jumping off of a cliff or joining a stupid club (okay, maybe one club, only if you are truly interested in the subject of the club):
How to Stop Being So Shy
1. Accept Yourself. sometimes you can be your worst bully, Even your ONLY bully, so lay off yourself. If you like neon colored fanny pack belching bands THEN WHATEVER! Just because one person thinks it's stupid, doesn't mean you're a complete weirdo. It's really not that deep, especially now in this day and age, It seems like everything goes (like putting bacon on everything, you just can't put bacon on everything!).
-celebrate your strengths
-silence your inner critic
-do as many good deeds and help as many people as you can
-If all else fails, at least fake it until you make it.
I think this would have to be the most important and biggest step to take before you can ease into a more comfortable attempt at being more social.
For me, learning different styles of body language helped me get a slight mind read of the person next to me. Subtle body movements and gestures can tell a lot about the person and in the mean time it can ease the stress of worry knowing off back that this person is interested in you or uninterested. Please note that some of the body's signs can have dual to no meaning, understand body language in and out as if you were studying psychology class.
Who knows, the person beside you may be even more shy of you then you are them, you can figure that out by reading their body language.
- Try reading this the ultimate guide to body language
-know your body language
-learn good and bad
-learn how to correct your posture to at least appear confident.
Learn to relax when you feel shy or your mind starts racing. Stop freaking yourself out thinking of all the things that could go wrong. There's no use of thinking the worst because at that point you could think the impossible and completely believe every lie you feed yourself.
-relax your mind
-stop telling yourself that everything is horrible
-be observant
-like fashion? Participate in a fashion show
-like photography? Take pictures for people and sell your work
-festival in town? Then go!
-community service opportunity?- take them!
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